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Summertime fear

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I don't want to be here and I don't want to live in fear but to the days in the summertime all the time I sheded tears.. for long as i remember me there's always been a sea of sin and how to wash away the dirt when it goes straight in my blood it never leaves when I'm alone it creeps it's way through the gravestone, I'm not brave but there's believe, someday I'll be far ahead... don't follow me around,  cause i don't want to be found.. just let me be a being of heart for I possess a demon's wall And I am looking through it all of them sitting beyond. no ones sees me all around, no one seeks me when I drown,. ...i saw the faces, the faces here, my mother father and the brotherly love, there are my sisters I cared for but where am I if not ashore, I'll drown deep in the sorrow, away from all the hollow, for I am not the one, for all the good you've done.

The war

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"Everyone sins but not everyone is at war with their sins." Does this war ever ends? It might end me one day. This summer had been a very choatic one for me. And I am constantly in a fight with myself. Will I ever hate anyone else besides me, No I don't think so. All the damage that has ever been caused, it was caused by me. Still, I hope everyday that the ghosts of these sins will leave me some day and I'll be able to sit with everyone without thinking I might stink of my deeds.  Is there a way out? I don't know yet.